marriage counselors in dothanIs She/He Cheating? In 41% of marriages, one or both partners admit to cheating.  According to research conducted by the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 57% of males admit to being unfaithful in any relationship they’ve had, compared to 54% of women.  It is no longer a male-dominated issue.

When it comes down to it, no one wants to believe their significant other would be unfaithful to them, but the trust is that it happens.  Most men and women who have been cheated on will tell you that there were signs that they subconsciously ignored.

Is She/He Cheating?

Changes in Physical Appearance

Most couples become so comfortable over time that they tend to slip into habits where they do not try as hard to impress the other.  When he or she begins taking longer with grooming, buying new clothes, wearing new fragrance, or joining a gym, this could be a warning signal.

Being Overly Nice or Critical

You’ve heard the phrase, “He must have done something wrong” when a friend receives chocolates or flowers.  And while it is usually meant as a joke, there is some truth to the fact that the cheating party usually feels guilt and will often take steps to make him or herself feel better.  Not only that, but oftentimes, the cheating party is using  niceties in order to distract their partner from inappropriate behavior.  On the flip side, sometimes the one cheating will be critical or argumentative, as this can be his or her way of justifying their behavior.  If they feel they have a lot to complain about, their behavior may not seem so bad to them.  Also, picking fights may be his or her way of getting out of the marriage if he or she believes this is easier than admitting his or her actions.

Being Secretive with Internet or Phone Use

These days, social networking and YouTube are widely used by both men and women.  It doesn’t necessarily spell cheating, but if your spouse is glued to the computer for huge amounts of time or failing to be open with you about his/her activities, it’s possible it could be an issue.

Changes in Sex Life

Both lack of sex drive, as well as increased sex drive, can be cause for concern.  In cases where there is a lack of sex drive, it may indicate that he/she is disinterested either because they are being satisfied elsewhere, or feeling guilty and unable to get close due to the guilty conscience.  On the other hand, he/she may overcompensate with a higher sex drive so that their partner is not tipped off to the affair.

If your significant other is showing any of these behaviors, it is definitely something you need to pay attention to.  Showing these behaviors is not a sure sign he/she is cheating, but certainly shows that he/she is not 100% invested in your relationship.  Before you make accusations, consider couples counseling to help work through these issues and get your marriage headed back in the right direction.

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Relationship Expert & Author

"Peace of Mind and Connected Relationships" Kim Berry, LPC.

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Kimberly Berry, LPC

187 Belmont Drive
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Phone: 334.671.1280