Make Love Last! Whether you are in a new relationship or have been together for years, it never hurts to have a refresher course on how to make your love last!

Everyone desires a loving, happy relationship but as a relationship counselor, I find that many people do not even know the basics…so here they are…keep these tips close and use them often to Make Love Last!

1. Remember the small things.

Couples mistakenly believe they have to perform these huge acts of kindness to impress their partners. This could not be farther from the truth. It is the small, daily acts that add up. Snuggling on the couch, saying please or thank you, bringing them a drink too when you go to get one for yourself. It’s the little things that make the difference.

2. Remember you are a team.

Share the household duties, make important decisions together, consider the other person’s feelings. Remind yourself that both of you are on the side of the relationship. This helps put you in the mindset that you are in this together.

3. Do not lose yourself in the relationship.

Yes, you are a couple but you are individual people also. This means you will have individual interests, likes, dislikes. The happiest couples know that time for friends, hobbies, even time alone is vital. This time apart gives you time to miss each other, allowing you to be excited about the next time you are together.

4. Look for the good in your relationship.

It is so easy, not to mention human nature, to zero in on what is wrong with your relationship and ignore the positive. It will be incredibly beneficial for you to shift your focus to the strengths of your relationship and to the qualities you love about your partner. What do you do together that creates closeness? It may be something as simple as cooking your favorite meal together. Hey, a simple game of Yahtzee has saved many relationships!

5. Maintain external friendships and outlets.

No, you are not required to spend every waking minute together because you are a couple. Nor can you get everything you need from one person. You need friends, both same and opposite sex, to add balance and fulfillment to your life. Again, spending time with others help you to really appreciate and love the time you have with your partner.

6. Examine your expectations.

One of the top reasons couples report relationship issues is unrealistic expectations from their partners. Your partner is not solely responsible to ‘make you happy.’ Nor are they even capable of meeting this unobtainable expectation. When you depend on your partner to provide this for you, you put him or her in an impossible position. When they are unable to fill this need, you feel let down by them. Take responsibility for your own happiness. Be okay with who you are and allow your relationship to be a wonderful bonus.

7. Do not let small things fester.

Okay, so it drives you crazy that he drops his dirty socks beside the laundry basket instead of simply putting them inside the basket. This may seem small, but can quickly turn into thoughts such as, “He is so selfish and just expects me to take care of this, like I am his servant.”. You can see how this can lead to deep rooted resentment. This is easily remedied with good communication.

I hope these tips have been helpful for you. If you would like more detailed help and insight on how to communicate more efficiently, please visit www.effectivecommunicationadvice.com/couples-and-marriage. Enjoy your happy, healthy relationship!

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